Septoplasty Post-op Diary -- Day 1

After a few visits to the doctor, I was referred for a Septoplasty operation. What is this, you say? 

Well, there is a long straight bone running down the middle of your nose, and it's called the septum. At least, it's supposed to be a straight bone... but in some people it is actually "deviated", as they say in the trade -- which basically means that it's wonky. That wonkiness causes it to block one or both of your nostrils, leading you to have problems such as:

• Snoring
• Breathing through your mouth -- leading to dry throat
• Getting out of breath quickly
• Waking up feeling tired

The deviation in the bone could have come about from a nose injury in the past, or you might just have been born with it.

The solution is an operation called a Septoplasty, where the surgeon basically bashes the bone into shape and makes it straight. There is also an operation called a Septorhinoplasty, which is where they do some cosmetic surgery at the same time while they're operating on you (a Rhinoplasty is the technical name for a cosmetic nose job) -- as tempting as it was, I didn't elect for this additional service.

The rest of these posts will go into the details of the operation and the aftermath. This isn't intended for general consumption -- but if you're about to have the same operation (or are considering it) and you want to know what's involved, read on.

Day 1 -- Arrival at Hospital

I arrived at the hospital as instructed, having had to fast (no food or drink, not even water) since midnight. After waiting around for a while, I was told to take my clothes off, and put on the rather sexy hospital gown instead. Then, taken to the pre-admission ward where there is yet more waiting around.

Finally, the anesthetist comes out and says they're ready. After asking some questions about my history with general anesthetic in previous surgeries, I am taken through into the operating theatre and told to lie down on the bed. An injection in the arm, some gas in the mouth, and within 20 seconds I'm knocked out.

Waking up

After some strange and vivid dream which I no longer remember, I wake up to find myself in the recovery ward, being told that the operation was a success. Feeling groggy as expected after the general anesthetic, I stare vacantly into space for the best part of an hour while my pulse and blood pressure are being monitored, before I am lead through to a recovery chair and reunited with my lovely girlfriend who was there to pick me up.

At this point, my vanity kicks in ... what has that surgeon done to my face?!! Luckily my lady has a mirror, and I raise it slowly up with trepidation to see what has become of me...

To my relief, and also to some degree of disappointment, I look completely the same, with the exception that I'm wearing what can only be described as a nose tampon. 

It looks bizarre but it's actually a great invention. It's basically a harness which is placed over your ears, and leads down to a tampon positioned just under your nose, completely covering your moustache (d'oh, all that tache grooming went to waste!)

At this point I'm given a tray of soft food to eat (yogurt, ice cream, apple juice) to check that I'm able to swallow -- success on that front (although some of the yogurt got stuck to the bottom of the tampon on the way into my mouth, but let's not mention that), so I'm given a prescription for antibiotics and painkillers, handed a discharge sheet and shown the door.

Back at home

After a short taxi ride (luckily I happen to live 5 minutes from the hospital), I'm back in my own home. What now? Well, by this point I'm pretty hungry, having eaten nothing but a yogurt and ice cream since midnight. But, my nose and upper lip are still numb from the surgery.

Eating with the numb upper lip is quite a challenge. Once the food is in your mouth, it's fine (well, except that chewing actually puts pressure on your nose, so you're told to avoid chewy foods like steaks) -- but to get it in there is surprisingly difficult when you have no feeling in your lip, and also the hovering tampon to contend with.

Of course, the tampon can be removed temporarily, and with the help of a mirror to direct the spoon into the right place, a packet of chicken is successfully eaten. A high-protein, low-salt diet is recommended for the first few days after the surgery, so chicken it is!

Now it's 7pm and I'm not really capable of doing anything other than watching some trashy TV and going to bed. Day 1 is over!


Next: Day 2